Dear Reader: InQuire opens new Satire section

Dear Reader,

Does InQuire need a new satire section?

No. *clocks off for home time*

Okay, I can’t leave it at that, but if I’m honest, of course InQuire doesn’t need a satire section, but where’s the fun in that.

Through InQuire’s existence over 50 years (god we’re old), either as InCant, KRED or finally InQuire, no editor has thought about introducing a satire page, and it’s not hard to see why.

Any student publication focuses on the same template: news, opinion, sport, lifestyle etc, and InQuire naturally follows those same boundaries. This is largely down to what students not only find interesting, but what we as students ourselves can produce besides carrying out our own studies. We’re not machines.

And that’s exactly why InQuire needs a satire section.

Reader: “But didn’t you just imply that this would be too much work to carry out?” Me: “Shhhhh, no one will notice…” Reader: “Bu-?!” Me: “SHHHHHH!!!!”

Because we’re not machines, and apparently some us claim to be human beings and not animals, we require fun. Without it, we’d become Brexit voters.

It’s a complaint that’s levelled against many news organisations, that because they publicise “doom and gloom”, we become a zombie-minded populace who are accustomed to despair and negativity.

But news can be funny. I first realised this as a child when the 2010 general election occurred, and Labour candidate Gordon Brown (more innocent times then), was evidently told by his campaign staff to smile more. And oh boy, did he…

It was so noticeable at the time, that many accused him of trying to imitate Tony Blair’s mickey-mouse like charm and that it hurt his chances at the election. But more importantly, we found it funny. In a time of great financial uncertainty and political instability, the nation laughed because a Scotsman could only smile via auto-cue.

That’s why we’re creating a satire page at InQuire, because the news around us can be funny. For example, a few months ago Canterbury City Council revealed they had no contingency plans for Brexit. As a local resident you have to laugh otherwise, you’ll cry.

Here at InQuire, we’ve experimented on satire before, as last year we wrote satirically on last year’s Kent Union elections and labelled our ex-Website Editor, Sunny Singh, as an alcoholic largely because I realised he’d stopped editing my work. He noticed.

It’s a section we aim to update continuously, so expect funny articles, memes and if you click that little fox on the right, a link to a random website on the internet. Just because.

We hope you enjoy!

Views expressed in InQuire's satire articles are those only of the writer and InQuire does not endorse any of these opinions, this section is dedicated to entertainment purposes only. We use fictitious characters in our stories, except in regards to public figures being satirised directly.