Kent Union hits another one out of the park

February 7, 2020

Image courtesy of Wix 

 

Recently it was revealed that tickets for this year’s Summer Ball will be sold for one day and one day only. The day in question is Wednesday 11th March and all tickets will cost £35. Many have been aghast at the decision to limit the sale time for Kent Union’s showpiece event, but it is clear that this is in fact a very sensible decision.

 

I have long since thought that tickets for Summer Ball were simply too easy to get hold of and that the event should be made more exclusive. The event, which will take place on 6th June, takes over the centre of the University of Kent’s Canterbury campus and sees many music artists perform for the merriment of the students. The best part of the decision is the unnecessary stress that will doubtless be put on the Kent Union website, as there will be no negative fallout of directing that amount of traffic in a single day. Naturally they will have taken the necessary steps to make sure they can cope with the vast majority of students all trying to buy tickets at the same time. However, limiting of the sale of tickets for the event will make it better? Wait, I’ve just said it out loud and I’ve completely forgotten why this will improve things.

 

There has to be a reason to change it, they wouldn’t just arbitrarily make it more difficult to get Summer Ball tickets. Not Kent Union, all of their decisions make perfect sense, like changing the name of Refreshers Fair to The Big Fair, I much preferred that.

 

Alright, this next section is being written two days after the first part, I haven’t slept or eaten, I spent the entire time looking for a single reason to shorten the ticket sale time to one day and increase the prices. And you know what? I haven’t thought of a single one, although I would take that with a pinch of salt because I’m 99% sure that my wardrobe is trying to eat me. I’ve become delirious, I just don’t know why this has happened because I can’t think of a single reason to do it, what kind of monster would think to do this? Are they trying to send a message? Are they trying to send a message to me? WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN?

 

Views expressed in InQuire's satire articles are those only of the writer and InQuire does not endorse any of these opinions, this section is dedicated to entertainment purposes only. We use fictitious characters in our stories, except in regards to public figures being satirised directly.

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