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Far too much of the student newspaper is controlled by snowflake lefties and remoaners complaining about their safe space or lack thereof. I, Barry Smith, shall embark on a one-man mission to restore the status quo and invoke the glory of Britannia, to show the people the error of their PC ways. Or, just write a weekly column on the news and what I think about it.
I tell you what, the past few weeks have been a real win for the good guys. As of last Friday, we are out of the EU and now Trump has been acquitted of wrongdoing by the US Senate. The lefty shills thought they had him after the corrupt Congress had indicted him for speaking to the Ukrainian President, last I heard it wasn’t a crime to have the best interests of the country at heart. With that said in this PC ultra-sensitive world loving your country probably will be punishable by death before long. I cannot wait for Trump to win again at the end of the year and get another four years in office. I would pay good money to be able to watch the faces of liberals everywhere when that happens. Side note: Mitt Romney should be ashamed of himself, no wonder he didn’t win his election.
What did I tell you a few weeks back? China are trying to invade us all with this coronavirus nonsense and what has happened? We now have three confirmed cases of it in the UK and quite frankly it will not be long before this gets even more serious. We needed to be vigilant here and stop all travel to and from the region, but it has been too long now, and enough people have gone there and come back and now we are all in danger. People are just too afraid of upsetting people, particularly China. We should have learnt from Chamberlain’s errors and stop allowing people to try and intimidate us like this and stand up to them and be vigilant.
Update on the Falklands and Gibraltar: they remain ours.
Views expressed in InQuire's satire articles are those only of the writer and InQuire does not endorse any of these opinions, this section is dedicated to entertainment purposes only. We use fictitious characters in our stories, except in regards to public figures being satirised directly.