Image courtesy of Wix
It is that time once again, we are coming towards assignment season and with that, for some comes disappointment. Although we would all like to excel, the sad truth is that some of us will be licking our wounds rather than celebrating our successes. However, you are in luck, you are not alone, and we can get through this together.
Most people, namely your seminar leaders and lecturers, will tell you to learn from your mistakes and read their feedback. I am here to tell you that that is what they want you to do. Those people hate you, why else would you have been given such a poor mark? You are clearly an elite student and don’t deserve it, so why listen to them? Continue to do what you are doing and eventually their tiny minds will catch up with your unrivalled genius. Just keep the faith and like a footballer tweeting after their tenth consecutive defeat, you will be back stronger.
With all that said, there are things that you should be doing before getting back to the work. You’ve been working hard, you put in one very long evening on the night when the assignment was due and read more than one book. You need to cut loose and have fun for a while as you make up for all that time you lost “actually doing your degree”. This time immediately post handing in an assignment should be a celebration of the wonderful human being you are. I can’t say specifically how you should do this, as it is up to what you enjoy doing to relax. Just have some you time, have a candle lit bath or hang out with some friends. Whatever you do, just put down the books, you earned this free time just for turning in that assignment at all.
Once you’re done relaxing and realising that deep down you know much more than the people who are supposed to be teaching you, then maybe it’s time to get back to your course. But this is not a dive straight into the deep end, rather more that toe dip you do to check the temperature before slowly lowering yourself into the pool because that initial investigation showed that someone forgot to heat the thing. Do some work and go into your next contact hours partially prepared, you’re still not ready to go full throttle in your studies for a few weeks yet, because if you floor the accelerator pedal every time you get in the car then you are going to wear it out. You want to slowly build-up to being fully prepared and then by the time your next assignments hit, you will have reached your peak at just the right time and smash that one.
*Quick disclaimer* I just found the photo being used in this article and it would be remiss of me as your Satire Editor not to point out that the laptop in the picture is off. I know in stock photos you don't expect them to be doing the thing that is being photographed, but they could at least have turned on the laptop and written some gibberish on a Word document. Thank you for indulging this mini-rant that has nothing to do with the article.
Views expressed in InQuire's satire articles are those only of the writer and InQuire does not endorse any of these opinions, this section is dedicated to entertainment purposes only. We use fictitious characters in our stories, except in regards to public figures being satirised directly.